"Discipline with Dignity:" A Book to Remember
Whether an experienced teacher, or an inexperienced teacher, we all struggle with maintaining order and peace in the classroom. I currently work as a middle school ELAR teacher. As you may or may not know, middle school is a particularly challenging group of students to work with. I work daily with a group of "in-betweeners," meaning that they are in-between the stage of blind childish obedience and security in their independence as young adults. The fact is that this group of young adults is not only testing their boundaries, but have just recently discovered that the boundary even exists, and that it is flexible!
When I first began teaching, I found myself struggling to maintain order, not solely because I was inexperienced, but because I was torn in so many directions in trying to discover who I was as a teacher. I kept getting "words of wisdom" from others who maintained that students needed to fear you in order to respect you. Fear was equated to respect.
But I felt wrong.
By nature, I am not a "yeller." By no means am I reserved, nor passive, I simply do not like to yell. Moreover, growing up in a home where yelling was the sole means to conversing, I am particularly sensitive to yelling, and as a result, did not adapt well to a teaching strategy of yelling at students, and berating them in front of peers to "teach them a lesson."
I needed help and advice, but felt ashamed to ask. My dear and wonderful husband, seeing my struggle and being witness to my tears of frustration gave me a book that changed me as a teacher and helped to set me on the right path. That book was: "Discipline with Dignity" by Richard L. Curwin, among other writers.
From the book I was able to gain peace.
I would like to emphasize, however, that the teachers who are successful "yellers" are by no means "bad" teachers, they are simply different than myself- and that is okay. As an educator I have the ability to set the tone of my class, and I chose to be different. Having a tone of integrity and respect in no way makes my classroom more organized, and my test results better. In fact, from what I have seen, the teachers who adapt the tactic of fear-based learning have less classroom disruptions, and, at times, may have slightly higher test scores, but the students in my class have learned to make good and right choices, not because "I said so," but because it is the right thing to do. When I am not present in the classroom, they behave honorably. If a peer is hurt, they respond with kindness.
I have one example that I will never forget. This year, I had a particularly "rough" bunch of students in one class. This group was notorious for their violence, misbehavior, and have even been explicitly "hated" by other teachers at the school. One day, while walking back from lunch (which, by the way, this "rough" class is the most quite and organized group that goes out to lunch), a boy in the class bent to tie his shoe, and his pants ripped. Not ONE student laughed or snickered. Immediately a student offered to get a coat to help cover him, so that he could walk to the office to get replacement pants. It is behavior such as that, that is the result of disciplining with dignity.
I set a tone of integrity and respect in my class, and those are skills that the students in my classes will carry within them for the duration of their life. When they are adults, they may not remember the theme of "The Giver," they may not remember what alliteration is. They will remember, however, that their middle school ELAR teacher believed that goodness existed in them, and that they were worthy of respect, even though they were younger and less educated. Great teachers inspire students to believe that they can achieve their dreams in a world where they are witness to over-whelming failure and sadness. Great teachers teach lessons that can be carried out into the world, and don't simply exist on paper.
Ronald Reagan once said:
While I am far from the "greatest" teacher, I have accomplished greatness by teaching students to show grace and compassion, because their teacher showed it first to them.
When I first began teaching, I found myself struggling to maintain order, not solely because I was inexperienced, but because I was torn in so many directions in trying to discover who I was as a teacher. I kept getting "words of wisdom" from others who maintained that students needed to fear you in order to respect you. Fear was equated to respect.
But I felt wrong.
By nature, I am not a "yeller." By no means am I reserved, nor passive, I simply do not like to yell. Moreover, growing up in a home where yelling was the sole means to conversing, I am particularly sensitive to yelling, and as a result, did not adapt well to a teaching strategy of yelling at students, and berating them in front of peers to "teach them a lesson."
I needed help and advice, but felt ashamed to ask. My dear and wonderful husband, seeing my struggle and being witness to my tears of frustration gave me a book that changed me as a teacher and helped to set me on the right path. That book was: "Discipline with Dignity" by Richard L. Curwin, among other writers.
From the book I was able to gain peace.
I would like to emphasize, however, that the teachers who are successful "yellers" are by no means "bad" teachers, they are simply different than myself- and that is okay. As an educator I have the ability to set the tone of my class, and I chose to be different. Having a tone of integrity and respect in no way makes my classroom more organized, and my test results better. In fact, from what I have seen, the teachers who adapt the tactic of fear-based learning have less classroom disruptions, and, at times, may have slightly higher test scores, but the students in my class have learned to make good and right choices, not because "I said so," but because it is the right thing to do. When I am not present in the classroom, they behave honorably. If a peer is hurt, they respond with kindness.
I have one example that I will never forget. This year, I had a particularly "rough" bunch of students in one class. This group was notorious for their violence, misbehavior, and have even been explicitly "hated" by other teachers at the school. One day, while walking back from lunch (which, by the way, this "rough" class is the most quite and organized group that goes out to lunch), a boy in the class bent to tie his shoe, and his pants ripped. Not ONE student laughed or snickered. Immediately a student offered to get a coat to help cover him, so that he could walk to the office to get replacement pants. It is behavior such as that, that is the result of disciplining with dignity.
I set a tone of integrity and respect in my class, and those are skills that the students in my classes will carry within them for the duration of their life. When they are adults, they may not remember the theme of "The Giver," they may not remember what alliteration is. They will remember, however, that their middle school ELAR teacher believed that goodness existed in them, and that they were worthy of respect, even though they were younger and less educated. Great teachers inspire students to believe that they can achieve their dreams in a world where they are witness to over-whelming failure and sadness. Great teachers teach lessons that can be carried out into the world, and don't simply exist on paper.
Ronald Reagan once said:
"The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one who gets others to do the greatest things."
While I am far from the "greatest" teacher, I have accomplished greatness by teaching students to show grace and compassion, because their teacher showed it first to them.
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